It Came From Under the Sink
by King Bradley III
Summary: "Some are born weird, some achieve it, others have weirdness thrust upon them." Unfortunately, Sawada Tsunayoshi fell under the last one. Slight AU.
1. Chapter 1

"_Some are born weird, some achieve it, others have weirdness thrust upon them._"  
― Dick Francis

* * *

There was something awfully weird about the life of Tsunayoshi Sawada, and it wasn't the constant bullying, nor the octopus-headed bomber that was constantly worshipping and praising him. It wasn't the annoying Chihuahua that seemed to like to chase him halfway up the block before deeming him boring for the day, it wasn't the fact that he'd clam up and stammer like a fool whenever a certain honey-haired girl would look his way, nor the embarrassing notion that his average was that of a 17.8 in nearly all subjects. No, it was the tiny fact that he was being stalked by what appeared to be a baby.

And if that wasn't enough to make him think he should check himself into the nearest mental hospital, apparently the baby had a gun. Or, at least it looked like a gun from Tsuna's standpoint, the...child hadn't really gotten close enough for him to really make out anything other than size and large red sunglasses that hid eyes that were probably staring straight into his soul. And he apparently was the only one that could see it.

Picking up his pace back to his small apartment, Tsuna was rather glad that Gokudera had decided to skip, he wasn't sure he could handle anymore declarations of utmost and undying loyalty towards himself that week. And the fact that his older brother Giotto had been away for almost two weeks now and hadn't been able to help tutor him didn't really help his problem towards school work and grades.

Rubbing his eyes, Tsuna noted that his luck was pretty good today, considering how it usually took steep nosedives whenever something good happened to him. But no, things had been pretty average. Or at least they had, until he realized that he was being followed.

If he glanced quickly enough to the wall next to him, than he'd be able to catch a glimpse and flash of blue, red, or silver before it disappeared the next moment. So the brunette tried to keep his gaze forward at all times, as to not work himself into a fearful frenzy and make the neighbors think he was a bigger idiot than originally advertised. That and it wouldn't do his popular older brother's reputation any good if people thought his younger brother was a total nut. It was bad enough that people called him an idiot to Giotto's face, though the blonde man always disagreed thoroughly, willing to stand up for his no-good younger sibling's barely-there honor.

As soon as the familiar green of his front door came into view, Tsuna could've cried in relief. Now he'd be safe from whoever was creeping after him, and if that didn't stop them, then maybe he'd get to enjoy one last home cooked meal from his mother before he died. The thought did little to nothing to perk Tsuna's spirits, and he realized that by the time he reached the door, he could practically hear whatever it was that was following him and their small but steady and expert footfalls only meters from his head. Withholding a signature scream of fear and surrender, the brunette tripped over himself in an attempt to wrest open the slab of oak that served as a gateway between him and a safe haven.

"I'm home!" He cried out louder than originally intended, though it really made no big difference to him. The most important fact was that there was now a barrier between him and the predator outside. Locking the door for extra measure, the thirteen-year old was quick to note the lack of a greeting from his mother, a real oddity in the world of normality.

Tsuna instantly lost all color in his face. What if the mystery stalker had gotten to her? It seemed very unlikely, but Tsuna's overreacting imagination was now in overdrive. 'No! I would've heard a struggle! Or maybe the creeper had allies?' "Hiiiiiii..." He cried softly, trembling starting up in his hands and traversing up throughout his body. Tsuna really, _really_ hoped that they hadn't gotten to his mother. It was times like this he wished his father wasn't out "working at construction and mining sights around the world" as he so unbelievably put it, and at home, although even weirder things happened because of the suspicious man's presence.

It wasn't until Tsuna found a note addressed to him from his mother did he finally calm down.

_Tsu-kun_

_I've gone out to the marketplace, they're having a last minute sale! So dinner is in the fridge, it's tuna leftover from last night's meal. You don't have to finish it all; your brother might have some when he gets home. That's right! I forgot to tell you earlier, Giotto's coming home from Italy. He'll be here tonight and I've already cleaned his room, but I want you to take the cardboard box sitting outside the upstairs closet and take it in there for me._

_Be home in a bit_

_-Nana_

The thoughts of his older brother coming home after half a year knocked away anymore worries about the possible serial killer, and Tsuna found himself worrying about that instead of the stalker, the very figure perched outside the window behind his head just above the small sink and stove.

Nearly tripping halfway up the stairs twice, Tsuna paused on the last step to find the aforementioned box sitting just outside a slightly jarred sliding closet door. He released a breath of relief that he wouldn't have to involve the manual labor in lugging it around the house or even worse, up the stairs.

Mentally thanking his mother and her knowledge on his clumsiness, Tsuna padded over to the medium sized container. Sliding his hands under the rough surface, the brunette checked to make sure it wasn't upside down (there'd been more than one occurrence  
with an upside down box) before lifting it-and promptly nearly sending himself back down the flight of stairs.

Catching himself at the last second, Tsuna went on to half-carry half-drag the obstructing object into his elder brother's room.

The dark space went completely untouched since Giotto was last there, and luckily he possessed the good grace to clean it before his departure, a fact that Tsuna was grateful for as he heaved the box onto his brother's queen-sized bed. The room was rather plain and ordinary, something that Tsuna knew his brother was anything but. He did suppose that since his brother spent so much time away as an intern, that he would be unable to fully decorate and make full use of the room.

Eyeing the cardboard container, it was only human for Tsuna to wonder just what was so valuable that it was kept separate from the rest of Giotto's belongings. Resisting the urge to commit the action that killed the cat and open the sealed box, Tsuna quickly exited the room that belonged to Giotto and settled for entering his own. Perhaps he'd try to solve the hell-sent rocket science that was algebra while he waited for his mother and brother.

But upon looking at the huge packet that was due the following day, Tsunayoshi instantly knew that there was no way he was scoring anything above a high F, a low D if he was lucky. But Tsuna was never lucky, so he was able to count on scoring at least a 45.6.

The brunette rubbed his eyes hard as he flopped down on his bed. He wasn't crying-although hard, algebra wasn't enough to make him sob like a baby (that was reserved for English lessons)-but he was solely anticipating the return of his only sibling. Though he liked the silence, Tsuna realized that maybe Nana could use more company than just her no-good and failing son all of the time.

In the end, Tsuna decided to save the packet to ask Giotto on if the blond man wasn't too busy upon returning home after so long, and turned towards his messy desk that was strewn with failed test, failed assignments, failed essays, and even F's from the previous year-and promptly screamed.

"Hiiiiiii!"

In a flash Tsuna had pressed himself against the far wall next to his door, chocolate brown eyes wide with shock, fear, and slight wonder at the sight of what appeared to be a baby standing on the wooden desk.

A spiky mass of blue hair was the most noticeable feature on the chibi, maybe second only to the pair of bright red sunglasses that looked as if they belonged to the futuristic assassin robot that Tsuna had seen off of a movie one time. The child looked mostly male, but gender wasn't the foremost thing on the brunette's mind. No, escaping alive and running away took the gold medal.

"Stop your wailing." The baby-child-thing snapped, arm snapping out to reveal a large shotgun. Tsuna was extremely glad that he'd decided to relieve himself before taking the box up, or his bed would be a displeasing and smelly mess of urine. "You are Sawada Tsunayoshi, correct?"

'Lie, lie.' His instinct for survival and his brain screamed at him mentally. But something told him that to do so would not be the wisest choice he had ever made. So all's that Tsuna could possibly do at that point in time was give the barest nod as an affirmative. Perhaps it was a choice that spared his life, if only for a short while. "Y-yes..."

"Good." The chibi nodded, and Tsuna imagined a satisfied look blinking into the eyes the weird red shades hid. "I am Lal Mirch, your guardian until further notice. I have been watching you for a while now, brother of the Primo." She said coolly, voice betraying no emotion other than the customary explanation.

If the brunette was stunned before, than he was completely lost at the last statement. "W-watching me?" He squealed, looking bewildered. "So that was you following me home!" Came the gasp as the puzzle pieces were fitted together, albeit a bit late.

A twinge of amusement laced the child's tone. "Yes, Tsunayoshi. That was me. By the way you took off down the street, I assume that you finally discovered my presence." She than added insult to injury "Any normal person with average intelligence would've noticed ages ago. You're rather slow, are you not?"

Cue ashamed nod.

"No matter, there'll be time to build on that later." Lal Mirch said, tucking her gun onto the strap on her back so the large weapon was away, but still available for immediate drawing. "Now we must await your brother's arrival."

"W-wait," Tsuna held up a hand, sitting up from his position crab-crochet against the wall. "You said something about a Primo's brother? What is that? And why do we have to wait for G-Giotto?" Now he was suspicious. This couldn't be one of his brother's weird friends, could it? Tsuna really wished that the older male would meet some normal people instead of the wackos that belonged in circuses. He was sill cringing at the memory of the glares the red-haired man with the weird tattoo on his face that Giotto had brought home with him on his last visit had given him.

Lal Mirch shook her head. "Not "a" Primo, the Primo." She corrected with a scoff. "He really hasn't told you anything, has he?" Had the chibi not been wearing her sunglasses, than Tsuna would've seen a blue eyebrow rise.

"Tell me what?" Tsuna's voice rose as his frustration grew. "And what is a-the Primo? He's not in danger, is he?" The brunette knotted his fingers in his unruly brown locks, distress taking over.

Lal Mirch could've rolled her eyes at the sight of the boy who was so closed to hyperventilating, but she supposed that the happenings weren't all his fault. Had Iemitsu and Giotto really kept all this from him? She could understand Nana, but Tsunayoshi too? But she knew that it was time to let the cat out of the bag, so with little regards to the thirteen-year old's state of sanity, she answered. "Giotto, your older brother, is the Primo of the Vongola mafia family."

Tsunayoshi burst a muscle in his head.

* * *

**Would the Sky ever come to terms?**

_-Maybe. Though Lal Mirch was never one to sugarcoat_

* * *

***Rubs neck*** It's a little rushed, I realize. But I wanted to get it done and post it, since it's Hibari's birthday. Although this really has nothing to do with him until later chapters...But yes, this is slightly AU, as you can tell. Pairings are undecided, so suggestions would be nice. It can be Yaoi, if you guys want.

So...what category of weird do you fall under?


	2. Oddity in Normality

**"I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird."**  
**― Frank Zappa**

* * *

Tsunayoshi couldn't help but feel like a complete zombie straight out of those weird T.V shows that Haru was always talking about; odd, lifeless, and a groaning mess. He paid no mind to the sounds of rustling in the kitchen as his mother bustled about, having finally returned home after a hard afternoon of deciding just what to buy to fix for their almost-family reunion that'd happen as soon as Giotto walked through the door. So much for the leftover tuna, Tsuna thought bitterly. Not that he minded, while he did enjoy most fish, tuna never sat well with him. Maybe it had something to do with his father teasing him about how alike it sounded to his name.

The brunette wrinkled his nose as he put distance between him and the psycho that claimed to be his guardian.

He was reluctant to stay upstairs with the baby-chibi-adult-like thing, but he was sure that his mother wouldn't believe him if he told her that there was a baby in his room that'd been stalking him for the past couple of days or so. If that didn't land him as insane in the eyes of his ever-cheerful mother, Tsuna didn't know what would, and he really didn't plan on finding out.

The...chibi remained on self-proclaimed watch duty, but for what there was to look out for in the quiet town of Namimori, the brunette had absolutely no clue. Unless there were more disturbingly young-looking gun-wielding babies about, then Tsuna wouldn't mind having a guard, though it probably didn't count when his guard was one of the evil babies.

As Tsuna trudged downstairs, taking extra care not to slip down and bruise his already overworked noggin, he briefly wondered about just what was taking Giotto so long. Obviously his mother expected her eldest to get home earlier then her, or she wouldn't have mentioned to leave some tuna for him if he decided to eat early, but there was no sign of his calm, cool, and role model sibling, and Tsuna had a nagging feeling that it had to do with Giotto being the Primo...or whatever Lal Mirch had said.

Now that he thought about it, how was Giotto involved with the mafia? So all this time he'd been lying to him and their mother? Was their father and his ludicrous excuses of "becoming a star" and "traveling around the world to manage construction sights" somehow involved in all of this? Probably, that man had been pulling lies out of his ass for years, so Tsuna wouldn't be surprised if this had something to do with the absent fool.

But the mafia subject was one that Tsuna wasn't sure how to approach. He couldn't just go up to his brother as soon as he walked through the door and ask whether he was really in the mafia or nor. The fourteen-year old wasn't sure whether he could stand his only other sibling thinking that he was some sort of nut. It was bad enough that his mother already counted him out as useless (though that didn't really bother him, since Nana was usually very blunt sometimes whether she realized it or not).

Tsuna entered the kitchen, a contemplative look still etched upon his face, and his mother looked up and gave one of her sunny smiles reserved just for her family. "Tsu-kun!" She acknowledged, holding up her spoon in greeting. "Looks like Gio-kun is running late, huh? Did you start eating the tuna?"

"No, I haven't had a chance yet." Tsuna shook his head. 'I was too busy conferencing with a homicidal baby who claims that Giotto is a mafia boss.' If that wouldn't make his mother think he was weird, than the woman was an alien from the deep depths of outer space.

Nana hummed, turning back around to stir the pleasant smelling soup that was brewing. "Oh well, maybe you can take it with you to school tomorrow. I'll put it in your bento." Nodding a reluctant affirmative as well as trying not to grimace, Tsuna slumped in the dining room chair, completely and mentally spent.

He tried not to think about Lal Mirch nor the odd fact about his brother, which though it sounded ridiculous at first, the more Tsuna thought about it and remembered the blue-haired baby's serious face, the more he believed it. Though the coldhearted and ruthless mafia didn't seem in character for Giotto at all. The brunette really couldn't see his older brother killing anyone for any reason, the image just wouldn't come to him.

Wrinkling his nose, Tsuna's stomach twisted at the thought of gentle and calm Giotto actually murdering someone. It just...didn't add up. A real oddity in normality, though that was an understatement.

Oddity in normality...

Tsuna snorted quietly at the phrase, thinking of how much it applied to his life right now. A baby who spoke like an adult, wore insanely high-tech glasses, toted a huge gun that was probably real, now that Tsuna thought about it, had followed him home and told him his brother was not just in the mafia, but the boss of a mafia family. Now that, was odd, and the boy wasn't sure how he felt about the sudden change. When things got confusing or rough, Tsuna was usually the first one to bolt, he was loathing admitting.

"Tsu-kun," Nana spoke up, turning the knobs on the stove. After the customary "click", she spoke. "I know how you feel about your father," She didn't notice the way he tensed suddenly, for her back was turned. "But wouldn't it be just wonderful if the whole family was together for one big meal?"

Tsuna chose his words carefully, not wanting to spoil his mother's good mood. "Yeah, it would. Just like old times, huh?" It wasn't a total lie on his part, having the whole family together would be nice...though Tsuna wasn't sure they could get through the meal without Iemitsu falling asleep into his rice or Giotto having to step outside to take a call numerous times. That part could be left out.

Nana smiled at her youngest, obviously pleased by the answer. Maybe the gaping rift between Tsuna and his father could be healed after all. Or maybe she was hoping for too much, it was a major possibility that the boy would still be just as sour towards the older man as he was the last time he found the time to visit. She really hoped not, seeing Father and Son so distant from each other was truly painful.

Tsuna briefly wondered whether that strange chibi had left yet. He really hoped that the tiny "guardian" was just a figment of his overacting imagination, a result of being punched around and hit too much at school. Hadn't he been kicked in the head with the soccer ball while playing left defense that day?

But something-a heating feeling in his gut-told him that no, it wasn't his imagination, and yes, Lal Mirch was really there. Some sort of...intuition, to put it in absolute words. Tsuna only hoped that he wouldn't do something stupid to piss her off and have her fire away at him

with that oversized gun of her's. The thought made Tsuna grimace, and he briefly wondered whether Giotto would be able to shoo the life-threatening chibi away if what she claimed was true.

"Oi, Tsuna, you shouldn't think too hard on such things. I can practically see the steam coming from your ears." Came a familiar smooth and deep voice, a voice that hadn't been heard by the brunette boy in half a year, a more than welcome voice in his mind.

Whirling around on the chair so fast that Tsuna had to clutch at the table to keep from falling over; the fourteen-year old stared with wide chocolate brown eyes at his blond older brother who gazed back with a warm stare of brotherly affection. "G-G-Giotto-nii!" He gave a shrill and unmanly cry of understandable shock.

"It's been a while, Tsuna." The elder man nodded in his younger brother's direction, and Tsuna couldn't help but notice how much older and worn and tired Giotto looked. It was as if he carried a heavy burden on his shoulders, and had to do it alone. Instantly, Lal Mirch's words about Giotto being the Primo boss of a mafia Famiglia came rushing back, and the brunette felt himself cringing as he gazed wide eyed at his brother. Was...was Giotto a murderer? Had he killed in the time he'd been away?

Luckily Nana chose that moment to interrupt the "brotherly reunion" igniting between her two boys. "Gio-kun!" The still-young and beautiful woman darted forward, soup spoon clattering to the ground in the rush to greet her oldest son with much missed affection. "You've gotten taller!"

The blond welcomed his mother with a hug, his tall stature earned from his father's side allowing him to easily dwarf the brown-haired woman. "Mama," He spoke with the Italian word. "It's been a while."

"My little boy is all grown up!" Nana cried, looking close to tears of joy as she pressed a kiss to Giotto's cheek. "I remember how it was only yesterday that I was pulling you away from the lilies in Takanoshi-san's garden..."

Giotto coughed awkwardly, preferring not to be reminded of the day when he was five and found it most appropriate to show how he appreciated their elderly next door neighbor's exquisite foreign plants by rolling about in them...naked. It was his way of saying they were pretty, in his defense. "Anyways, father called me and told me to tell everyone that he'll be home in a week or two. They had some...complications at one of the construction sights, so it might be a while."

Tsuna didn't bother masking his quiet snort of disbelief. As if. If Giotto was tied in the mafia business like Lal Mirch had said, than he'd bet his arm and leg that the older man was somehow involved in it, as he had thought earlier. Actually, being in the mafia sounded much more believable than "working traffic at construction sights," anything really did. He'd corner and question Giotto about it later.

"How're you doing in school, Tsuna?" Came the curious question. Upon being forced to remember the barely twenty-two point three average he had, the brunette visibly deflated. To have an older brother so successful and the pride of the family, only to make him look bad by being the failure child was depressing. "No good?" He asked, giving a sympathetic twitch of his lips at the sight of the emotional decline.

"Yeah," Came the unwilling sigh as Tsuna admitted his shame and hopelessness. His algebra teacher-or really any of his teachers-were right, he really was hopeless and unteachable. Or at least, that's what they told their superiors when asked why they couldn't get a certain Sawada to pass with even a low F.

Wisely choosing that moment to interrupt, Nana smiled. "Why don't you go get settled in your old room, Gio-kun? Dinner'll be ready shortly." She prodded the eldest son, who nodded in turn.

"Alright," He agreed easily, and Tsuna couldn't help a silent breath of relief as the conversation was steered away from his failing grades. The last thing he wanted right now was to discuss his shameful marks with his brother who'd just returned home.

And he really didn't want to discuss what would happen when his father returned.

"Tsu-kun." Nana turned to him, spoon still in hand, and the large brown eyes he had inherited sparkling with that familiar and warm motherly glow. "Go straighten up your room a little bit, alright? I want the house clean for your-"

'Dont say it!' Tsuna mentally groaned, gritting his teeth.

"-father." The elder Sawada finished, not hearing the silent plea issuing from her son's thoughts.

Tsuna was nanoseconds away from slamming his head against the table. There his mother went, talking about his just-as-no-good-as-he-was father like he was a saint again. The brunette couldn't fathom why the woman still held so much faith in his dad and his obvious lies. Could it be that she just didn't want to face the truth? Did she actually know more than she let on? Or maybe she really was clueless?

Somehow, call it a gut feeling, Tsuna felt that his mother wasn't the clueless little housewife everyone thought her to be. Or maybe he was just overreacting again.

Slowly shuffling up the stairs (and of course tripping on the last one, as it seemed to jump out from nowhere at him), Tsunayoshi reluctantly headed towards his bedroom. He really hoped that Lal received some sort of super secret mission that didn't involve him and had fled Namimori, or even better Japan.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the case, he soon discovered upon pushing open the gateway to his pigsty of a room. The blue-haired chibi was perched on the end of his bed, the only clean space in the tornado-struck enclosure. Tsuna didn't need to see through the humming red shades to know that the small infant was disgusted with the sore sight of his living space.

"You live like an animal." Lal Mirch commented flatly. And she had thought Colonello's quarters were bad when she had mentored him. This brat had him beat by a landslide.

"I know...I don't have much time to clean it." Tsuna threw back a measly retort. His response was partly true, for he was too busy running from and avoiding bullies, hiding his bruises from his mother, as well as keeping his failed test grades away from her eyesight to really bother worrying about his room.

"Excuses will get you nowhere, Sawada." Lal Mirch's eyes flashed from behind her high-tech shades. "Do not disappoint your mother. Clean your room or die!"

A high-pitched scream escaped the brunette as he found himself of the receiving end of a bazooka. "Get going, you have half an hour to get it done."

Cue weak nod.

"Mm. I'll be nice and add on an extra minute." Lal Mirch hummed after a moment of thought. Tsuna dared not complain at the little time added on, it might save his life for all he knew.

And Tsuna did know, for that warming feeling in his gut told him that if he didn't pick up the pace and get started, then he was as good as dead. "C-can I have thirty-two minutes...?"

A pause. Then a curt "No." followed up by a blast from the bazooka, completely incinerating the back wall. "Clean that up too."

"Hiiiiiii!"

A real oddity in normality, both decided.

* * *

**A devil in disguise?**  
_-Maybe. The Arcobeleno do have to maintain the title of the strongest seven._

* * *

**A little rushed at the ending...I was originally going to update last Friday, but I decided to wait until today since it's my birthday. May 23. Yay. *throws confetti*.**

**Anyways, to address a common concern: No, this isn't a romance fic. It's not the main genre, and pairings won't appear until towards the end (Lord knows when that'll be). Rest assured, only canon pairings like Iemitsu and Nana will exist, and even then I won't shed a lot of light in that area.**

**A little hint: Nana isn't going to be completely clueless like she is in the anime/manga (or pretends to be).**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed, it means a lot. Now...*pulls out gun* Review with your dying will! *shoots***


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